Loving Others Well
In 1 Corinthians we read, “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Have you ever spent time with someone and felt like you were really seen and understood? They made you feel that way because they have mastered the skill of listening without distraction. When I was a Young Life leader, there was a 16 year old student named Kim. She exhibited a deep spiritual faith and emotional maturity rarely seen by adults. When you had a conversation with Kim, it was apparent that she possessed astounding self assurance stemming from her relationship with God. She was an excellent listener. She was a gatherer of people and had the ability to interact with every social stratosphere of the high school population. Kim had a major impact on people’s lives.
Scripture imparts templates on how to love people well. We are told to listen, be slow to speak, be peacemakers, speak well of others, to treat others as we want to be treated. We know how God wants us to love others, but we often fall short. Oftentimes, our unloving behavior results from emotional baggage that has remained unsorted. In other words, hurting people often hurt others. Time doesn’t actually heal all wounds, does it? Ignoring our baggage doesn’t make it go away.
Of course, seeking out counseling can be tremendously beneficial, and as we have spoken about throughout this series, deepening our connection with God also helps place us on the path to emotional maturity. God forms and solidifies our true identity in Christ. From this new identity, we are able to love people well.
In the Gospel accounts, we know that Jesus’ profound contemplative prayer life shaped his contemplative presence with others. Prayer aided in the wellspring of compassion Jesus felt for those around him. Likewise, the practice of contemplative prayer increases our ability to listen to others and be a non-anxious presence. When we are grounded in our true identity, we are able to listen to others sympathetically.
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” - Ephesians 3:16-19