Growing Through Darkness
The Best Way Out Is Always Through
Fall Mission Communities • Week of 10/18
Have you ever faced something so terribly difficult and just thought, “I can’t do this”? Maybe it was the loss of a loved one or job insecurity, maybe it was loneliness, anxiety, or the diagnosis of a serious ailment… maybe it was all of 2020 (really, how much pain can one year hold?). We all have difficult moments but what I’m talking about are those disastrous seasons that leave such a gigantic chasm in your life that feels nearly impossible to mend. The kind of storm that leaves your emotional, mental and spiritual health battered and bruised. St. John of the Cross calls it the “dark night of the soul”, and for good reason.
There are a variety of responses to these dark seasons - some of us might hide behind our faith replying to difficulty with truisms like “God won’t give me more than I can handle” or “God works all things for my good!” because it’s just too painful to face the Wall. Others might become disillusioned by God and stagnate - distancing ourselves from him because we don’t want any part of a God that would bring or allow this pain. We often forget that growing into maturity in Christ requires us to walk through the darkness and remember that we are not alone as we do so.
I am reminded of one of my favorite books, a Christian allegory called Hinds Feet on High Places. In the book there is a character named Much Afraid who lives in the Valley of Humiliation and she joins the Great Shepherd at the base of the mountain called The High Places. Much Afraid is lame and desperately wants to leap upon the mountain but fears that she will never be able to. The Shepherd promises to transform her and gives her two companions to lead her on the journey. When she meets them, twin sisters named Sorrow and Suffering, poor Much Afraid nearly turns back but chooses to trust the Shepherd and believe that he will keep his promises. Throughout her journey, Much Afraid relies on the sisters as she faces deserts and precipices, cliffs and caves until she finally reaches the High Places. There she is renamed Grace and Glory and learns the true names of her new friends, Peace and Joy.
Beyond how we might respond to the “dark night” are the questions of why we face it in the first place. St. John of the Cross wrote about the human tendency to become attached to feelings of and about God, mistaking them for God himself. I have spent seasons of my life being diligent in my habits of studying the Bible and memorizing verses… only to realize that I hadn’t actually known God in quite some time. The dark nights in our lives help us to detach from certain behaviors and habits for the purpose of a more intimate and loving attachment to God.
It’s natural for every person to experience difficulty, but there is more than discomfort in the Dark Night of the Soul. Here are some ways to know when we are in the dark night:
Our good feelings of God’s presence evaporate
We feel God doesn’t hear us when we pray
We feel a sense of failure or defeat, emptiness, helplessness, or weariness
The Christian disciplines that have served us no longer work
We can’t see what God is doing and we see little visible fruit in our lives
It’s ok to say we don’t know what God is doing, that we are sad, or question where He is. Or, as a handwritten poster that I saw on a coffee shop cork board one day reminded me, “it’s okay to not be okay”. This is what emotionally healthy spirituality looks like. Surrendering our not okay-ness to the present moment with God is a good place to start from in order to move through the darkness.
In the coming weeks, spend time thinking about darkness you may have faced (or are currently facing). What is your response? How do you see God and His involvement in your circumstances? Does your trust fray? Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”
Know that there is hope - God longs that we might know His true peace and rest. He works to free us from unhealthy attachments and idolatries that we might come into a more intimate relationship with Him.